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i'm 2 years old. i have an ear infection & it fucking huuuurts
put a hot wet washcloth in a cup and hold it to your ear
in a cup? and hold the cup to my ear?
yeah or find something to wrap around your head to hold it for you
how about i just take some oxy and go to bed
so do that and sleep on your side with the cup on
wtf that sounds uncomfortable as hell
not on the same side weirdo
how's it gonna stay? you've slept beside me. i don't stay put
knowing you have something attached to your head stays with the subconscious
you're crazy
i had a lot of ear infections as a kid
how about i just pay you to hold the cup all night
does your arm hurt too
...yes
i would think so because that was quite a reach in asking me to come over
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Automatic Reply: Out of Office, August 9-12
Alice Singh, MD, FACS
to Nicki Patel
Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office for a work symposium in San Diego and will be returning Monday, August 14. I will be checking my email periodically, but if this is an urgent matter, please contact my assistant, Eena Schwabe, at eena@alicesinghmd.com. To request an appointment, you can reach the main office at info@alicesinghmd.com or 650.205.3212. Otherwise, I look forward to connecting with you when I am back in the office Monday morning.

Thank you,

Alice Singh, MD, FACS
Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
Singh Plastic Surgery
O: 650.205.3212
alicesinghmd.com

The information contained in this communication is confidential and intended only for the use of the recipient named above, and may be legally privileged and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please resend it to the sender and delete the original message and copy of it from your computer system. Opinions, conclusions and other information in this message that do not relate to our official business should be understood as neither given nor endorsed by the company.

  
hey, cool thought. don't leave. :|
how bad am i for actually considering not leaving?
terrible. don't. i'd never forgive myself if i kept you from any kind of career advancement. ...this is for career advancement, right? if not, then brb lemme get my knots.
sigh, i know, i can't actually skip it. i'd be mad at myself if i didn't go, and it's...kind of important to my job, yeah. :(
sigh, fine, fine. and you know i'll be so fucking proud of you out there on your paper chase, and i was an adult and went into an actual sex toy store today in order to play games with you, so i guess we can't let THAT go to waste. but ugh. i will miss you.
goddammit, just. thank you? thank you. i needed that, i've been so anxious and jittery and stressed today. i'll miss you too, so goddamn much. i'm mad.
uh oh. what's going on? just travel anxiety?
travel anxiety, life anxiety. which, like, i was in yoga for a decade today so i should, by all means, be pretty calm right now, but i am not.
lmfao don't worry about it. can i be honest? yoga sometimes gives me anxiety. like, i like doing it, it's good for me, soothes my beast and makes me stretchy and shit, but i just can't with the instructor at the place i go because there's always like a 1/5 shot that she'll tell a story about studying in india and i'm like stahhhhhp let me stretch in peace. is there anything i can do? tell you a story? talk you down? touch your hair? reassure you of your worth?
yeah, today there was chanting and self-affirmations and i had sweat dripping into my nostrils, it was a time. yes, please. all of the above? i'm feeling greedy and pathetic, and i need you.
of course, baby, i'll be right there. let me just get my contacts out. i made chana masala. do you want me to bring some leftovers to heat up too?
i can come to you so meeseeks isn't all by himself. hell, my bag is already packed for tomorrow. but...yes. leftovers would be perfect.
okay, perfect. then i can plan to give you a ride tomorrow. what time is your flight out? what else can i get ready for you? the world is your oyster, my sweet.
it's in the evening, so i'm still working part of the day before heading to the airport. nothing, just. nothing. just you. you're perfect, i'm set.
oh, okay. even better. come on over. mr. meeseeks is so excited to see you. and by that i mean he's licking his own asshole, but i'm not wearing a shirt, so it's kind of a give and take thing, you know?
oh, what a coincidence! i'm not wearing a shirt either, so i think we're on the same page. i'm excited to see mr. meeseeks too, even if his breath smells like asshole.
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Ammi
San Francisco, CA
August 10, 2017 at 7:15 AM
0:000:27
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Hi beti, it's your mother. I was just calling to see if you were awake but... Oh, you have a conference or something this week, don't you? I was going to see if you wanted to come visit this weekend, but maybe you'll be free next time. If not, then I'll definitely see you at the end of the month for Jas's birthday. Call me back when you get a chance. Your father sends his love. Talk soon. Love you, bye.